Angela Grout launched a book-signing tour for her new book, “Bean in My Breast,” at Barnes & Noble in Holyoke on March 8. The medical novel is an emotional story about motherhood, legacy, faith and the courage to say goodbye while still holding on to life.
Reminder Publishing photo by Mike Lydick
AGAWAM — A new novel, “Bean in My Breast,” is the story of a woman named Rachel who is dealing with news that her breast cancer has returned. It’s terminal.
Instead of enduring another round of painful treatments that offer little hope, Rachel chooses to live her life on her own terms.
Told in the first person through Rachel’s intimate reflection and spiritual clarity, “Bean in My Breast” is an emotional story about motherhood, legacy, faith and the courage to say goodbye while still holding on to life.
Rachel’s story, said author Angela Grout, connects with many stages of her journey — not just with cancer or being tested, but also relationships with her kids, mom, husband, friends and balancing life as a mom.
It’s based on real experiences of several of Grout’s friends who faced breast cancer. “I had five friends die from breast cancer in less than four years,” said Grout. “I struggled with learning that they had accepted their diagnosis as a death sentence. I’ve lost several friends to cancer starting at the age of 17, so it’s always bothered me.”
One friend shared that she was opting not to do extensive treatments, telling Grout she had nine months to live. “I was angry — not just at the diagnosis, but at her acceptance,” said Grout, who lives in West Springfield.
Writing the book helped Grout understand her friend’s process of controlling what she could control. Grout started discussing writing this book with another friend, Kristen Donner, who had cancer at the time and has since passed.
“Kristen wanted to be a part of the book by sharing her thoughts so I started outlining the book but it wasn’t until the night Kristen died that I started writing. I hadn’t known she passed until the next day. By then I had over 40 pages written explaining to me why Kristen did what she did and how she transitioned,” said Grout.
Much research and help from girlfriends diagnosed with breast cancer provided Grout with medical aspects of her story. They were a “a huge help” with names of medicines used, timing of treatments and other information related to treating breast cancer.
The most challenging part for Grout was knowing what she was creating was to be fictional in the first person. “Speaking with Rachel’s voice, I gave her some challenges to deal with other than cancer. I added her husband having an affair to show how marriages are affected by cancer — the silent struggles and alienation that often is felt.”
Much of Rachel’s voice felt like Kristen’s voice to Grout, so adding fiction made her worry about what her family would think. “As a writer I knew this story needed bits of reality that were happening in others’ lives. I write what I know, witness, feel, imagine and hear. Making adjustments to what was a realistic story for me reminded me that it was fiction. The only reality was witnessing Kristen’s control.”
The book is set in Western Massachusetts, with Rachel getting treatment at Mercy Medical Center’s Sister Caritas Cancer Center in Springfield as well as going to the Cancer House of Hope in West Springfield.
There is also an important scene in the book at the Brimfield Winery. Grout had already written a scene where Rachel’s father whittled a bench for her wedding gift and the bench became an anchor in the story.
“When I saw a handmade bench at the winery I asked the owners about it. There were initials carved in it that begged me to name the characters in ‘Bean’ after those initials,” she said. “I wrote a short story about how the bench got there and imagined Rachel’s husband donating it after she passed since they had a memorable date at the winery”
Starting the book in July 2019, Grout wasn’t ready to publish it until 2023 because of the pandemic, her own health issues and delays in updating edits. When Grout began talking with literacy agents and publishing houses, she was disappointed that they would not put it on the schedule until fall 2026/2027.
“I considered self-publishing it, but with more health issues more delays occurred. Then a door opened with Burning Bulb Publishing and the timing was right,” said Grout. The book — a 247-page paperback published in December 2025 — is available on Amazon and through Barnes & Noble.
“Bean in My Breast” has become one of Amazon’s top audible reads and is the number one medical fiction book on Amazon. Grout said she’s “excited and surprised” about the book’s rankings. “I hadn’t considered it medical fiction but it is. It’s surprising that it’s so well received. Doctors have loved this story as well — learning about the emotions and daily struggles of balancing this medical diagnosis and life.”
Grout knew in the beginning that Rachel had died, so she said the emotional attachment was present the whole time. But when she listened to the book’s audible version she cried. “Hearing the story in her voice (outside of my head) was emotional and real. I mourned her passing. But I’m thankful to have known her. She will forever live in my heart. Rachel is a bean planted in my soul — nourishing my own spirituality and quest to live life authentically. Rachel taught me to not hold back and be me.”
Grout has embarked on a book-signing tour that launched March 8 at Barnes & Noble in Holyoke. Other booking signing dates/locations: March 23, 7-8 p.m., Fuego Sports Bar, Springfield; April 7, The Intersection at Tower Square, 4-6 p.m. (along with a book talk); April 18, Sacred Heart Church, Feeding Hills, 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.; April 23, Pleasantview Senior Center, East Longmeadow, 10 a.m. to noon; May 12-17. Brimfield Antique Fair at the Brimfield Winery.
