Daniel Cohen, pastor at the Agawam Congregational Church, holds his recently published book on humility, “It’s Not All About You! The Secret Joy of Practical Humility.”
Reminder Publishing photo by Mike Lydick
AGAWAM — Daniel Cohen is not your typical pastor.
Cohen was born into a Jewish family and was raised in Harlem as a toddler.He also has been a practicing psychotherapist for nearly 10 years.
Cohen, the newest pastor at the Agawam Congregational Church, is the author of a recently published book on humility, “It’s Not All About You! The Secret Joy of Practical Humility.”
It took him more than a decade to write the book. Cohen, who had a brief stint as a journalist, started writing it about 15 years ago when the pastor at the church he attended suggested he write a book. Cohen said that suggestion was the nudge that spurred him to thinking about writing a book on humility — a subject he approaches as a psychotherapist and a church minister.
He said one of the challenges he faced was that he had to start from scratch since he was unaware of a book on humility like what he planned to write. Cohen drew inspiration from the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous’ “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,” The Dalai Lama’s “Essential Teachings” and Michael Singer’s “The Untethered Soul.”
Cohen, 63, said his book, which features an essay on consumerism as well as 70 humility paths, is unique and is the culmination of much thinking, researching, organizing, writing and rewriting. “It took 10 years to write, in part, because there’s nothing like it out there. I spent a lot of time researching and there were times I didn’t write for nine months — I had to wait for the right energy,” he said.
According to Cohen, humility is the key to downsizing our fragile egos in a narcissistic age. He adds that countless people have told him how their lives have been transformed by his book.
“I’ve had so many compliments and the book has helped both me (I read it regularly) and my psychotherapy clients who I share it with, as well as many others who have bought the book from me,” he said. “It’s a real blessing to make a difference in someone’s life without having to spend a lot of man hours doing so.”
Cohen begins the book with an introduction that explains why humility is so essential to our happiness.
Following the introduction are four main sections. The first section is an essay describing why — as a global society — we are further from humility than ever before. He also includes a discussion of two questions about why society has been by trying to get us to buy more stuff to make us happy. The next three sections which are the heart of the book. That’s where Cohen lays out the various humility paths — or “mental happiness tools” — that will help readers put themselves in perspective.
Cohen also proposes a three-fold definition of humility:
- Humility is not thinking too highly of ourselves, too low of ourselves, or thinking about ourselves too often.
- Humility is accepting everything you don’t like about life that you cannot change.
- Humility is being grateful for everything you do like about life.
“I believe humility is not only the key to happiness but the key to being a better human being,” writes Cohen in the preface of the book. “While some seek money, they do so in the pursuit of happiness — so their wealth is only valuable in its ability to make them happy. Humility makes you happy as it takes away self-consciousness and helps you accept Life’s difficulties while making you more grateful for Life’s blessings.”
Cohen also argues that humility is not weakness and that being humble does not mean letting people walk all over you or letting others mistreat you. He said it’s entirely appropriate to respect your own boundaries while helping others learn the important lesson that they should respect other people’s boundaries too – as long as this is done out of love.
“It’s Not All About You!” focuses on paths that lead to “traditional humility.” It’s also the first book in a three-volume series on humility. Acceptance and gratitude are the basis of his second and third books.
“They are in the works, but nothing is coming soon,” said Cohen. “I’m working on the second book, ‘Being Okay — and Being Okay with Not Being Okay,’ but it will take some time to finish.”
Cohen said while he self-identifies as a Jewish-Christian with Buddhist tendencies, he made an effort to make his book palatable to atheists and agnostics as well. He explains that “I was once one of you, after all, and so I have saved most of my ‘God talk’ for the very end.”
Once he was ready to publish his book, Cohen discovered that he needed to have “a large following” to get a traditional book publisher. “So, I did an audiobook first because I was told I would never get a regular publisher if I published a paperback or hardcover edition on my own, but that an audiobook (which I recorded myself) wouldn’t hurt my chances,” he said.
Cohen tried for several years to get a following on Facebook, but he didn’t have the time or energy to make that work. Eventually, he “bit the bullet” and self-published.
The book is available on Amazon in paperback, hardcover or Kindle and on Audible as an audiobook. It can also be ordered through Barnes & Noble.
