Tedious chores, car trouble and the art of staying sane

The other day I wandered into the kitchen and calmly told my wife I have had it with chores. Of course, I would never stop doing the laundry, cleaning the house, paying bills and arranging for someone else to do yardwork.

But the tedious tasks are so taxing.

Here’s what recently drove me to the brink of madness.

I went to take my wife’s car for its annual state emissions and safety inspection, but the vehicle wouldn’t start. It was parked in our garage and the battery was dead.

Having no idea why it died, I had a towing service recharge it. I was stunned at how quickly the driver came and got the car running.
Before he left, he tested the battery and said it was fine.

He told me to run the vehicle for 30 minutes and that would be enough time for the battery to fully recharge.

No problem, I thought. I would probably spend at least an hour in line, waiting to have my car inspected.

That always happens, but not this day, of course. This time, there was no one ahead of me, no waiting when I pulled up. The car had been running for five minutes.

The inspector told me not to worry. He would keep the car running during the inspection.

I told him the battery was dead and had just been recharged. I asked if he could figure out what the problem was.

Here’s what happened next:

INSPECTOR: I’m going to fail the car.
ME: Why?
INSPECTOR: Because the battery died.
ME: I just told you that.
INSPECTOR: Right. So, I have to fail the car.
ME: What if I didn’t say anything?
INSPECTOR: It would still fail.
ME: Why?
INSPECTOR: Because you said the battery failed.
ME: Fine. Then I’m taking the car someplace else, and this time, I’m keeping my big, fat mouth shut.
INSPECTOR: They’re still going to fail the vehicle.
ME: Why?
INSPECTOR: Because the battery died.
ME: But I’m not going to tell them.
INSPECTOR: They’ll know.
ME: HOW!?!
INSPECTOR: Because when the battery dies or is replaced, “the system” (not the odometer) resets to zero mileage. You have to drive the vehicle 100 miles before it can be inspected.

Finally. Some clarity.

I said I would drive the car 100 miles and come back.

At this point, as a courtesy, he tested the battery itself and gave me a printout indicating it was bad and had to be replaced.

I went home, called the towing service and had the driver return and replace the battery, free of charge because it was under warranty.
The driver asked to see the battery’s failed test report.

As I showed him, I realized the report, which had just been printed, was dated five years ago. The date stamp on the battery tester was wrong and needed to be reset.

That didn’t matter and I got my new battery.

My next move was to have the towing company remove the charge for one of the two calls because the first driver, who said the battery was fine, was wrong. There never should have been a second trip to the house.

I called customer service and was informed they don’t work on weekends — and this was a Saturday.

So, added to my growing ‘To-Do’ list is a call to customer service, drive the car 100 miles and then have it inspected.

As irritating as these episodes in life are, they make great stories to tell later on, and that’s the payoff of not letting a dead battery drain me.

NOTE: Several days after I wrote this column, I brought the car back for its inspection. Just after I got in line, someone pulled up behind me and rear-ended my vehicle, leaving a slight scratch and dent in my bumper.

Getting this car inspected has been a real test of patience.

Staasi Heropoulos has been a broadcast and print journalist as well as a corporate communications practitioner in Western Mass. and internationally. He loves writing feature articles on local people and places but also welcomes story ideas. Staasi can be reached at Staasi.Heropoulos@gmail.com. The opinions expressed within this article are that of the author’s and do not represent the opinions and beliefs of the Reminder Publishing.