As some of you may realize, I know very little about professional sports. This, of course, has been a problem for me most of my life. Because of my gender and generation, I’m supposed to want to play sports, enjoy sports and hold an intelligent conversation about sports.

Generally, I’ve learned enough to establish some camouflage in certain social situations. I could toss out “GOAT,” and “Do your job!” I understood the sainthood of Tom Brady, the most beautiful man on the planet. The demise of the success of The New England Patriots has been very irksome to me as I will have to learn new catchphrases.

(Don’t tell anyone, but I actually like basketball, probably because of the near seven years of employment at the Basketball Hall of Fame in my past.)

Of course, my manhood has been challenged many times because of my lack of interest in sports. One of the account managers at The Reminder — a man you can call “Mr. X,” but I’ll call him “Matt Mahaney” — frequently would walk into my office and throw out some sports reference in the hopes of showing the depths of my ignorance.

I’m happy to note I usually passed his little pop quizzes. Then I would use a favorite two-word phrase to usher him out of my space.

Despite this condition of mine, I’ve found acceptance in most parts of my life.

So, I may not know much of anything about football and the Super Bowl but I do know one thing: the recent MAGA rumor about the Big Game is too outrageously stupid to ignore.

I’m sure you’ve heard it. I pray you don’t believe it.

The rumor states the National Football League is going to make sure the Kansas City Chiefs win, so Taylor Swift can come onto the field at the game’s conclusion. She will then be given a mic and she will endorse President Biden’s reelection. This of course will be a command followed by her millions of fans and giving Biden an edge, that Donald Trump cannot have.

This means the NFL will be in the middle of the greatest sports controversy of all time. “Deflate Gate” as well as the White Sox throwing the World Series is nothing in comparison.

Newsweek reported that Fox News personality Jesse Watters added fuel to this fire. Newsweek reported, “Watters suggested that the superstar could be ‘a front for a covert political agenda’ during a segment of his show. To try and explain how Swift has become such a success, he told viewers that ‘around four years ago, the Pentagon’s psychological operations unit floated turning Taylor Swift into an asset during a NATO meeting.’ The Pentagon denied that there was any truth to his assertion.”

Trump’s former White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus was a guest on the ABC show “This Sunday.” Priebus addressed the rumor by saying “two of the most popular things in America right now” are Swift and the National Football League, and attacking the two is a “powder keg of stupidity.”

“I don’t think attacking those two — Taylor Swift and the NFL is obviously the way to go,” he said.

“I think we ought to have a few things in America that we can agree on, and those are two things. Even if she does take a political position. She doesn’t like Trump. Fine. That’s not going to change, I don’t think, anyone’s votes in November. But what could change people’s votes is if you start coming up with these kinds of conspiracy theories.”

Another part of this rumor is that some MAGA folks believe Swift will use witchcraft to seduce voters to Biden’s side — yes, witchcraft.

Seriously? I’m not sure what that even means, but then I don’t get why people look at Trump and see a “godly man,” one who has been sent by the creator of the universe to save us. There is absolutely no evidence to support that claim but facts mean little to some folks.

So here is my prediction: either the 49ers or the Chiefs will win — it’s got to be one of them — but Swift will not make an endorsement. She will not be handed a mic. The Pentagon would never allow it.

Now you are reading this column days after the Super Bowl but I am making this prediction on Feb. 6. If I’m right, there may be a whole new retirement career for me as a prognosticator and a soothsayer. MGM Springfield, I’m coming for your money!

G. Michael Dobbs has worked for Reminder Publishing for 23 years of his nearly 50-year-career in the Western Mass. media scene, and previously served as the executive editor. He has spent his time with the publisher covering local politics, interesting people and events. The opinions expressed within the article are that of the author’s and do not represent the opinions and beliefs of the paper.

+ posts